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# I Haven't Been This Excited to Make Videos in Years
- URL: https://offbeatshow.com/i-havent-been-this-excited-to-make-videos-in-years/
- Published: 2026-11-12T15:30:28.000Z
- Updated: 2026-11-12T17:12:26.000Z
- Description: I haven’t posted a video since May. For a lot of this year, I found it hard to get myself to sit down and make anything. Now I’m itching to get back. I wanted to tell you how I got here and what I’m working on.
- Author: Tommie McDonald
- Tags: Journal

My old podcast was doing well when I decided I didn’t want to keep making it. I’d got bored of the topics, and I’d had enough of sitting in a room talking about things. I wanted to go out and show people what we were talking about. I still liked asking questions. I wanted to do it in the places where people actually lived and worked.

For the podcast I used two iPhones, and in the edit I’d cut to whoever was talking. If all went well, I could make an episode in a day. One of my first attempts at filming on location involved strapping a mirror to the top of my phone so I could see the screen while using the back cameras. It was super janky and the footage still didn’t look great. So I bought an Osmo Pocket 3 and discovered how much work the iPhone had been doing for me. Everything I shot looked so dark.

I’ve spent a lot of this year learning how to make the videos I wanted to make in the first place. A conversation is harder to edit when the camera’s moving. Working through interpreters and getting the dubs and subtitles right takes me ages. There have been plenty of days when I’ve felt completely out of my depth. Sometimes I wonder whether I’m making the whole thing more complicated than it needs to be. I still can’t always tell.

While I was trying to get to grips with all that, TV crews were getting in touch about some of my old podcast investigations into human trafficking and violent abuse in the adult film industry. Even when a project went nowhere, I’d go back over what the women I’d interviewed had told me. It could put me in a slump for a while, and it would take time before I felt like making videos again.

Sometimes it felt like those videos had failed. I know some companies changed how they worked and did more to protect women on set. I’m glad they did. But I’d hoped for more to change, and it was hard to see how quickly things could go back to normal.

I was also in a relationship that made me really happy. I wanted to spend most of my time there, and it was easy to let work slide. After we broke up, I moved to Hull to be closer to family. My sister’s been a massive help in lifting my mood, and so has my six-year-old niece. I’ve been introducing her to my favourite anime, one film at a time.

I also found a great co-working space in Hull. It’s full of creative and techy people and it feels like a proper community. Having somewhere I actually look forward to going has made a big difference. It’s helped me get back to work and enjoy it again. And the more time I spend working on these films, the more I remember why I wanted to make them. I love meeting people and finding out how they live.

Two of the films I’m most excited to edit are from Egypt. For one, I got to spend time with members of Egypt’s Coptic Christian community. For the other, I met Sudanese refugees. I’ve also been filming a series about TikTok Live, and I’m overflowing with ideas for other things I’d like to film and people I’d like to meet. I’m still finding the work hard, but I’m enjoying learning how to do it. Even the days and weeks I spend learning and trying to get the colour and sound right.

I want to get back to putting videos out regularly. Part of why I’m writing this is that it feels more accountable saying that to the people who actually watch them. If you’ve been here since the days of two iPhones in my kitchen, thanks for sticking around. I’m really looking forward to showing you what I’ve been filming.